If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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