my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
We got so high we made milksteak
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
