just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
i think im in europe. pls send help
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
