I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
