Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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