He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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