i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
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