You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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