Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
