My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
