Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
