That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
