yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize