He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
