Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
