i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
there is glitter all over my balls
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