There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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