i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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