Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think I am morally bankrupt
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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