dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
