Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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