last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
