I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
