Why are handjobs necessary in class?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
