just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Semen is not good for contacts.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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