worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
