I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
