bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
