one might say we're banned from that church
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
