It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
