Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
