Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
