tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
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