I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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