i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
that's an acceptable place to lick
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
