WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
