I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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