Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
