Umm I'm too high to move.
Nicole vs. Life
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize