I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
