You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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