Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Threesome in a minivan. New low
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
