Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just want to make out with him forever
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
