Me. At least after what I've been through.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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