tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
