Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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