You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
