I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
