oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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