4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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