Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
