Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
you mean i was at the winter classic?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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