I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
