The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
