We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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