I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize