Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
BRING THE BAGELS
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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