he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
