im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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