i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
