dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
