what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
