I hate all girls vehemently.
another moral hangover. fuck.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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