Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
