Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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